The Inner Child

I conceptualized this a few years ago as a metaphor for "not letting go". The whole ideal behind it was what if that inner-child had grown up, realizing the loss of land and livelihood a first nations' child would go through. A lot of people think that we should just "get over it" and accept the modern day reality of over-consumption and materialism in face of the loss of language, history, self-autonomy, abundance of land wealth and resources, and over all trust among communities. This is my way of expressing against that desire and bias for acceptance of a euro-centric narrative. Ever since a young age, I was always drawing - doing doodles of favorite characters to writing mini books of video-game cheat codes and tips for boss fights. In my imagination, maybe someday these books would be valuable to fellow gamers but as time goes on things change and no longer are relevant or applicable, as many games now a days are released half-baked, always updating, and always online. Gone are the days of when a video-game was released whole and complete with even hidden levels or bosses to discover. On Instagram, I saw the artwork of a Zombie holding a Noh mask done long ago by artist Jed Henry. It evoked a similar feeling of being dead inside and a certain calmness being undisturbed, almost something untouched only by the hands of time that wears and tears down all things but also allows for new growth to take place. It was in seeing this design of another artist that the idea sprung to life to design a Tlingit version of this in evoking that creative spirit. The Mask is meant to represent the sad facts of colonization and the restrictions placed on indigenous peoples that prevented any fruitful development of ways of life or pursuits of happiness when it came to land use. The torn leggings represent the ever on-going and never-ending spirit of dancing, of movement, towards a brighter future (imagine dancing for 150 years continuously, all the wear and tear). The wristbands represent the wealth of the culture and all that is precious. The Necklace with the death-heads is meant to be out connection to the ancestors of late, those elders who have passed on to the spirit realm who are never far but none too close either. In the end, it became a version of Gollum from the Lord of the Rings that I felt connected to as the character also underwent hardships and suffering for the one thing he considered his most treasured and precious item. I feel that a lot of peoples who are trying to be connected to their cultures also covet a relationship with knowing they belong, to have a support network community that can be called upon to help and be of honorable service in a time of need. Instead we have groupings of gatekeepers and arm-chair aficionados and pretendians who all act individually to assert themselves while collectively putting down, sidelining, and smearing real struggles of indigeneity throughout generations. All of this, is meant to be represented in this piece "The Inner Child". It's really more of a self-portrait than anything, with the tiny version of my younger self being taught to draw the mask by the Tlingit Gollum because as they say "misery loves company." I hope you have enjoyed my elongated explanation of this piece.